Spring is so metaphorical, so tantalizing….so refreshing. There’s just something about spring. I believe its so beautiful in the sense that after a long winter spring still manages to come around. It would be so easy for a flower to just lay dead in the ground after so much erosion, weathering, cold, frost… yet come spring there it is pushing past the melting snow, and dead grass…there it is pushing past the ancient soil.
I believe this is the way with God.
As humans we encounter so much pain, affliction, erosion. We go through seasons where its hard just to push ourselves out of bed, because our minds and hearts are so heavy, and our soul so weary.This past winter has been so hard for me in many aspects. I’ve seen God open doors, and I’ve seen God close them. I know there is healing in God, but after such a long winter, I feared spring would never come.
I’ve let known about where I feel God calling me, leading me. The voices of the people around me say no, my flesh says no, but my spirit screams yes. I know that if I let go of this God dream, I’ll be letting go of something so divine and so exquisite. I feel my heart and soul crying as they begin to feel the wound growing…
Its hard. But I know that God is here with me. With new wounds God will find new ways to restore me, to soothe me in ways only he can. I’m distraught, my mind is burdened and my heart is weary, but my God is almighty. I just don’t want to regret, to stay stuck in the “could’ve beens” I want to walk in either direction knowing that it is pregnant with possibilities.
A couple of weeks ago, I was cleaning out my bookshelf when I stumbled across a book a friend had given to me as a gift. I had never opened it, and for some strange reason I felt compelled to open it. What I read in it moved me to tears. It was a book speaking on fighting for your dreams.
A particular chapter has really stuck with me, and I feel this is the place where I am “stuck” in at the present time. The chapter told stories of individuals who were fighting for their dreams. One of the stories was about a couple who were prayer warriors. They had a son that was really into drugs, they decided to send him to a support group. But they found that the more they prayed the worse he got. They talked to their pastor of their predicament and this is what he said,
The reason the pressure has been turned up is because you’re close to your victory. The enemy would not be fighting so hard if he didn’t know he was about to lose group on this [your] child. If you will keep believing, keep hoping, keep doing the right thing, and if you stay strong for the final push, you will see the situation turn around. You’ll see the promise come to pass.
The author went on to describe “the promised blessing,” like a pregnant woman. He said that when a woman is pregnant the first couple of months are no “big deal.” (Ladies I know there are a couple of exceptions with some of you out there *wink* wink*). But as the time goes on and she starts carrying the baby’s weight, lets just say, “give momma space.” By the time her water breaks all the other months of pain seem insignificant compared to labor. After an agonizing loooong while of pushing the baby out, she finally holds the baby in her hands and forgets the pain because:
She’s holding the promise.
The greatest difficulty always comes before the birth of a dream.
Yes. These words wrapped around my heart and I knew he had spoken the truth. I know that in this part of my journey it’s getting hard for me to keep pushing forward, but I do believe that God will give birth to something beautiful in my life. I’m not alone he feels my pain, and he is tenderly pushing me forward in these hard times.
I will be like Spring, rising from the rugged soil and believing it is my time, believing that God is creating a beautiful landscape out of my winter frost. His promises hold true, and they will happen… in His allotted time. He is “pregnant” with possibilities.
I leave you with this simple yet powerful thought dear friends…
What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail? -Robert H. Schuller-