“A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had is spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind them in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed. Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized the power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” (Mark 4:24-30)
We all know this story about the woman with the blood issue, most of us have heard it more times than we could count, and some of us can recite the verse exactly as it is. And although there is familiarity with this verse I have felt for the last couple of days now to go back and revisit this story and see it with new eyes, and a new perspective. To dive into what God wants me to see.
So for a couple of days now there has been so much noise going on in my life. And by noise I mean bills, serving, personal frustrations, struggles, and things back home. It just sometimes feels like too much. Way too much. Straight out of high school I jumped on a plane to pursue the deep stirring in my heart, to pursue Him whom I love. Jesus. Now two months in, I am beginning to crumble beneath the weight of so many things, that I am beginning to loose sight of Jesus, to loose sight of the real reason I am here. This past Friday was by far one of the hardest days here in Australia. After a whole day of just thinking and thinking about my circumstances I took a moment and headed to a park nearby. And as I sat on the bench and watched some leafs fall from the trees, and marveled at warm spring breeze and at the soft strings of an acoustic guitar playing, I heard Gods voice, “Diana, do you really think I would bring you all this way and forget about you? I am your bridegroom, your provider, your protector, I am sufficient for you…” Yeah, I didn’t know quite what to say, but there was no need. He knew what I was thinking. He had said it all. Though his peace overtook me in the park, as soon as I entered my class the past wounds began to surface…My dear friend asked me if I was okay and I just couldn’t hold in my tears anymore. She than began to speak into my heart as she embraced me she said, “Cry all that you need to cry, God doesn’t want half of us he wants all of us and he wants us whole. He is going to begin to bring out the old things that have laid in the drawers of your Spirit. Its going to be painful but it will be worth it, because God uses all things for our good even the hurtful, broken things.”
So I am standing at the edge of the diving board asking God if I can go around this, can I go around this process this season of healing, and he answers quietly and tenderly, “No.” Because you see like John Eldridge says, “It’s like you are running the race and in the process you break your leg, God would never say, its okay you’ve broken your leg now keep running the race.” No a God like that would be a cruel God. God at the end of the day cares about our spiritual condition and what is going on, on the inside of us. Its not just about fixing illness or broken bones, but to also have complete spiritual and emotional healing that can take a toll on us for years. God came to give us wholeness to mend what has been broken within us. How do you expect to keep running the race of life with a broken interior? God would never leave you like that. He refuses to…
In the presence of Jesus all sickness and sin cannot enter. Why? Because those things are the opposite of what, and who He is. Sickness has no place in the kingdom because God is a God of healing. Why can’t sin enter into the presence of God? Because God is holy and sin is the opposite of who He is. One ounce, one ounce of sickness, shame, pain, confusion is changed in the presence of Christ. In the Bible everyone, everyone who came in contact with Jesus was never the same again. That is why the touch of the lady with the blood issue changed her forever. Of course it was her faith as well BUT in the presence of Jesus no sickness can enter because it is the opposite of His essence….
So our brokenness the death that we are carrying within us must be made whole, must be healed; because as children of God He not only wants to make us whole in His love, but death cannot enter His presence if we want to be used for the Lord at our uttermost best healing must take place.Because that brokenness, pain, sin, creates a barrier between us and the fullness of God. I’m not saying that if your ill you cannot enter the presence of God, of course not. But what I am saying is that all these things are the opposite of who God is and its not until we are fully healed spiritually and emotionally that God can use us beyond what we could imagine. God does use broken things, but there comes a time when even those broken things must be healed. It is possible to live in wholeness because Jesus offered it to us, and He himself exemplified it in the flesh, for “The glory of God (Christ) is a human being fully awake…”
Friends, it is so easy to let the noise distract us, to keep us from truly grabbing a hold of God and letting Him do what he must do. We must be like the lady with the blood issue. I bet that she was crawling to Jesus, getting stepped on, pressed on every side while she bled and bled. She let no noise of the multitude distract her, she let no barrier stand in her way because she could see Jesus.She knew that in the presence of Jesus no sickness could enter but her sickness must flee. So as we continue to press on and as the noise increases we must keep our eyes focused on Jesus because in Him we find wholeness and restoration.
I leave you with one final word and thought, “…But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” ( 2 Corinthians 15-18) What is/are your veil? Pain, shame, confusion, loneliness?Let God lift it and let the healing begin…