*A small reflection from my journal around this same time last year and thought I’d share it. Picture from my Sunday afternoon walk. Hope you enjoy friends. All the best… might disappear for a while due to a crazy season of college life. Hope to have new observations, photography and ramblings to share. Until then enjoy.
Sometimes Lord I wonder what it feels and means to feel truly alive; to have those moments when one feels infinite. I think back to all the little moments and memories of my life and I feel as though they have escaped through my fingers. I have a feeling that it all should mean something. That it should all unveil a divine secret with a lot of meaning. You know like in novels where the color yellow is supposed to symbolize the start of spring, or romance or something of that sort. It’s fall here now, and it feels good against my skin and it makes me want to set out to the ocean. I want to be out in the middle of the ocean looking at the sky and the vast array of stars that light up the night sky… I want those moments God, and I got a glimpse of those moments in Colour. It was as though something divine was colliding with my small insignificant world… Like light touching the surface of a blanket and setting it aglow in many colors. I talked with real women. With women who were in different places in life traveling past one another at different paces. And I realized that those are what makes a life meaningful, the way that the divine and the sovereign can weave itself into something so human so dull and make it vibrant and lush forth new colors and smells. Combining two worlds that did not exist before; ebbing and flowing together like watercolors do on a simple piece of white paper, transforming it into something way bigger than itself. This season finds me clutching the precious shiny toys at the altar; not wishing to depart from them because they bring comfort to the unfamiliar. I just want to believe that at the end of this road I will think that it was all worth it; the pain, the fear, the weakness. Knowing that though I failed more times than I could count that I gave it everything that I invested my heart yet guarded it with Godly measures. And it gets me thinking Lord, hoping with everything that I am, that two years is all that will be required of me. Hoping that I continue to shed and grow into a tree that has its roots rooted deep, deep down into the earth enriched soil. I hope that you look back on my life and say that it was a story worth telling because your son was shined throughout every step, fingerprint and fiber of my being…
Somehow we realize that great stories are told in conflict, but we are unwilling to embrace the potential greatness of the story we are actually in. We think God is unjust, rather than a master storyteller.” Donald Miller
So Lord, even though I desperately want to skip over these chapters give me the strength, the grace, wisdom, knowledge and overall peace that your beloved Holy Spirit that is dwelling within me has it ALL under control and so much more. It’s like calm electricity in the air… something big is around the corner I can sense it… I know that underneath the moonlight, trees and clear sky you are whispering breathing and believing and cultivating something beautiful uniquely for me….
I trust you my beautiful Master Storyteller.