If you look up the word “unconventional” in the dictionary chances are this is the definition you will encounter, “Not based on or conforming to what is generally done or believed: “His unconventional approach to life.”
Whoever this “he” is that the dictionary is referring to has a lot in common with me: we are both indeed unconventional, or rather our lifestyle’s are.
For some reason I did not realize how different my life was/is to others before my return, but upon my return viewing and seeing my friends lives play out in front of me or via social media I realize I am what they call a “late bloomer.” I am by no means on the track of marriage, receiving my degree, or about to step into the career of my dreams. Rather tomorrow I officially sign up for my classes for university and I can’t help feel a little unconventional. I am twenty years old and starting off as a freshman. Yup. Where some of my friends are in their penultimate year of university I am barely beginning my bachelor’s degree.
I am finding that unconventionality can be both a bitter and sweet cup to drink. On one hand I am humbled in realizing that I have had the privilege to live and have studied in a foreign country and get to travel to some pretty amazing places, but I am also finding that I find myself feelings displaced and floating along feeling like a fish swimming upstream where others are going down stream.
I feel as though I am a sailboat in the midst of a murky ocean colliding with some pretty merciless waves, and suffering from salt water dehydration. My life looks like no one else’s and although sometimes its hard to realize the strangeness of having to be settled for four years here is tough- I also learn a great lesson of “accepting” my life, embracing my “unconventionality”- because I know deep down God is in control of the greater scheme.
I trusting and believing that these waves that I view as chaotic-if I let them, and merely float in them-will carry me somewhere worth struggling for. I am believing that these very waves will leave me along the shore of an island brimming with golden sun and mango troves.
I am hoping and believing in unconventional because that is what I’ve chosen and what -life- or something like it has dealt me, I am believing that unconventional is where I will be. And I will embrace it like a long lost friend, I am embracing my life and its many shades, and calling it painstakingly wonderful.
Be blessed friends,