Ramblings: Thank God for Seasons…

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Life is a beautiful fragile thing. It has the power to make us laugh so hard that we cry, and it holds the power to take away and leave us feeling barren. Yet, what I believe is the most incredible thing about life is that it comes in seasons. Seasons that are ever changing and (luckily) do not last for ever- because each season offers an opportunity to learn and grow and to marinate and delight in the depths of that which makes us human.

What would life be without the crunchiness and falling leafs of Autumn? The fireplace and warm hot cocoa laden nights of Winter? The warm caress of a Spring breeze? Or the coolness of the ocean against your feet in the Summer? If it weren’t for the changing landscape of each season we would either be stuck in endless cold weather (sorry Canada), or be scorched by the beams of an  ever awake ephemeral sun (sorry South California). However, each season teaches us to appreciate the other.

Thank God for seasons.

The first year/season of my college experience is officially over, and it has taught me so much about life, God, people and most importantly of myself.

I met individuals who restored my hope in humanity, and who became dear friends when I felt no one understood. We would eat more donuts than we cared too, and drank inordinate amounts of Starbucks in Dane Smith Hall, and laughed more than we learned during our “study sessions.” We’d sit on benches beside the duck pond in the coolness of autumn afternoons and watch the leafs fall as we encouraged one another and talked crazily about The Hunger Games.

I got my heart broken by a guy who changed his mind, yet, who taught me a lot about myself. And because of this learning experience I am learning to heal “well”-and attempting to not let bitterness swallow me- rather, to send him love and happiness every time I think of him. Because a broken heart means I’ve tried for something, and because I don’t think we intentionally hope to hurt someone.

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I met individuals who told me a bit about their stories-their transparency so poignant- that I was reminded that there is beauty in being human. We are complex creatures all with the need to love and be loved. Our stories binding us closer  than we might believe.

I’ve pushed my limits further than I thought possible. I’ve unexpectedly fallen in love with running, and ran seven miles. More than I ever cared to. I pushed myself in my writing (school wise) and written about a vast array of subjects (ask my anything about Pre-Colombian art) that have diversified my capacities.

I’ve learned that God doesn’t love me any less because I’m not camped out at church. I’ve learned what it means to have a “bride-groom” spirit and be happy for everyone else’s milestones. Which has been especially hard in this May month-wedding invites, babies, couples, graduations, new beginnings- I have begun to learn that just because someone else’s highlight reel is impressive, that mine isn’t mediocre. It’s just a season.

But above all in this season I am learning not to feel guilty about my life.

Guilty as in ashamed because my life is so different from those around me. Its okay to do that which makes me happy.

Life is beautiful, am learning to cherish it.

Thank God for seasons…

Because no matter how unconventional it all may seem, hard seasons (or good ones) don’t last forever. And that my friends is a beautiful paradox to hold on to. Because it demands that we live in the present, move on from the past, and embrace what is, and is to come.

All my love,

-Diana

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