Changes & Sweaty Palms

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Transcendence by definition is, “existence or experience beyond the normal or physical level.” (Google) And so far this summer has felt a lot like this. Time has been passing by really fast and really slow all at the same time, while my body is stuck somewhere in between. A lot of changes have occurred and I am still bewildered at how fast things can change. Change has no set time or space, it just happens-when it happens.

Change happens to you and to me, and to party balloons as they deflate. Its unavoidable.

Not all change is bad, but not all change is good. But for the sake of hope and light I will choose to believe that all change is used by God to reconstruct, mold and beguile us.

This summer I’ve gone to more interviews than this past year alone. I met with editors and my palms sweated and I fumbled with my words, and at the end of every meeting I told myself, “the real failure is not to try.” I sat in a building that held my aspirations and dreams in its squeaky floor boards, cheap coffee, and deadlines.

Because where else would aspiring student journalists write?

I went to a protest and took pictures for the first time as a photojournalist. I met new individuals who restored my hope in humanity, and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was a part of something.

A nasty sunburn later, thousands of edited photos and bruised feet landed me my first official job at my university’s newspaper, hello photojournalism? 

It’s a new season.

This summer has thrown me and my family in the ringer, and in the eye of the tornado if I am honest. Life picked us up and shook us by our toes and left us feeling rattled and shaken. We almost said goodbye to my dear grandmother, but the fighter in her did not give up, and neither did our amazing God.

We will be saying goodbye to my brother soon as he moves out of state taking our beloved pup. This was a fresh wound that we found to great to understand, but as we quieted our fears and lifted our eyes we realized that God is in everything, and has prepared good for those who love and trust in him. His sole whisper bringing us peace and respite.

My seemingly quiet existence and my attempt to relax this summer will be cast away, as I begin to take steps into a different world not born in me. A world with more deadlines, and learning experiences and interactions.

And that’s the best place to be. The place where we continue to grow and change…

Perhaps change is the best thing in the end, disguised as a welcoming friend- because in the end only stagnant things die.

So chase down your lions my friends, and no matter the outcome just know you went down swinging.

All my love,

-Diana

 

*All photos are my own

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