It’s almost spring again.
You can feel it approaching like an old friend that you have desperately needed. So much has changed, happened, and shifted within the last three weeks and I feel like I have stretched, expanded and grown.
I’m learning how difficult it is to relinquish control, what it means to desperately desire something, that you feel like you are about to suffocate. But its in the yearning-in the waiting that we learn who we really are, what we are made of.
I don’t know about you, but life is hard sometimes for no reason at all. You feel the weight in the morning of the coming day as you awake and hope that you’ll get through. But it’s not just about getting through. It’s about enjoying and not merely enduring.
Sure, there are things in my life that are missing. Things that I desperately wish were tangible and not some faraway fantasy. But I’m learning. I’m learning that what I have right now, this very minute is enough. That if I waste my time with what if’s than I am losing a precious moment, something intricately divine that will not exist in tomorrow, but in the today, in the right now.
I am savoring what I can. I am reminding myself that although my job is stressful and time consuming at times that I am learning. That I am growing more as a photographer with every snap of the shutter. That I am learning something so God given that I should be immersed in it, ravel in it, and believe deeply in it.
I am learning to love the people in my life. To be grateful for each and everyone of them. To hold them close but be willing to release at any moment. Because they are beautiful and hold bright and wild dreams too big for this town. I am learning not to wish for who isn’t in my life but to delight in who is my life. In this overwhelming crazy, mysterious, wild season.
This is what we get friends, one life, you and I. It’s not easy. Sometimes it grinds us and chews us, and other times its magical and overwhelmingly glorious. And its ours. All ours. With a God who holds every moment in his hands.
Relinquish control. exhale. relinquish again. exhale. live.